A short tale of closure…
Hey guys! I know it has been a long time since we met!
And I have been busy thinking, working, doing, and going through a roller coaster of emotions.
Yea! heavy stuff I know!
*So, this is a friendly disclaimer that this might or might not be something you want to face! Please do not kill me for this and also since you have read the disclaimer why not read the entire thing, I promise to be there for you at least as a pen friend!*
So just like the title tells you this is a tale of closure, now I know everyone has a different meaning for it and there are different circumstances where you need it or require it or not.
The problem is not wanting the closure from that relationship, the problem is in resolving those emotions, venting it out, and figuring it out!
Okay I know it is confusing, let me rephrase it!
Closure doesn’t always have to be fighting, I think it should be about knowing for yourself what exactly happened and most importantly closure should not be from the relationship or whatever ship you want to call it, it should be for you, and that too from within you.
It may not make sense now, but maybe later when you read it again it might make some sense to you…
Now, I know it is easier said than done and that it requires more than one person to do it, but isn’t it necessary to know what happened and why did it happen?
I am no pro in this! I have my fair share of answers to give to many many people I know, and who knows maybe after a while when I am ready I might just answer that!
But you know I think the most difficult of all is finally figuring out what and why did you reach a stage where you had to take that step or decision?
I mean I cannot speak for everyone but for me, it has been a journey to hell and beyond! Oh, come on! everyone has loved someone at some point so hard, with all their might and it is that one person who was everything to you but, sadly it never worked out because it just didn’t.
Although, I should ideally tell you what happened to me, but, no not this time! I can tell you how I felt or feel about it, but it is not my place to narrate a story that involves a very special someone.
I believe that there are different types of love and well I guess that is why we have endless genres for music, books, dance, culture, and more.
Because what is the existence of love if not a soul!
I met one such wonderful man at the time of my life when I was still struggling to figure out what I wanted with me and my life… ( not that I am crystal clear about it now but you know what I mean)
Several beautiful years later, we decided to part ways because, well because it did not work out between us!
I have to tell you this, the breakup woke me up from my starry slumber! Again I am telling you this, he is a wonderful man, but I was growing up! That jolt gave me the strength or, rather woke up that strength in me that I would have never found otherwise.
But like any other couple we had our beef and bad blood between us, I will kid you not about it, but we always made it a point to be civilized about it.
Also, did you know you can also insult someone very politely (trust me! personal experience!!).
Communication was either cut off completely or thanks to social media a thread of connection always existed! But even after all this it never gave me the satisfaction, I knew I had a lot of unresolved emotions within me and that it would only be fair that I get those answers! But who was I to force for answers when I myself was not ready to face the music!
Always remember guys practice what you preach.
And as I said that the guy I was with is a wonderful human who waited and decided to give me space even when he was suffering. When we eventually started talking again, I ghosted him within weeks because I was not ready to face him even after 1.5 years of not seeing each other! As I said it is not just my story to say! it is his too…
But when I found the courage to finally face him, I did! And that is the most sensible and rewarding thing I ever did for myself.
We were good for each other really good! if you ask me he is still that wonderful man I met on the first date that lasted 3 hours!
Also, I made him a coffee addict! :P
In an hour, I turn 26 and on this birthday I gifted myself the most precious gift of closure. We found our way to forgive each other, I found the strength to forgive myself in the coming years!
It felt like breaking up again when we met for the last time for the time being because that is when I realized that the first time we broke up, it was virtual, it was just verbal! it was never in person and that is what we were missing and we found it like the team that we were!
We decided to be friends, weird but true! He is the first person to make me feel and realize what I am capable of and for that, I will be forever grateful to him!
And for me! Well, I guess Happy freaking birthday to me!
Growing older and wiser and wittier!