Soon passing out of sight, memory, or existence.
“ Sometimes, we learn to appreciate people only after losing them. We can remember all those good memories together; ” is an excerpt from a lengthy Instagram post meant of me indirectly, and that is a story for another time!
But it did make me question something, and I don’t know how many of us can resonate with it, and it hit me because of some uneventful situation that I had to go through. The question being why do we realize someone’s worth in our life once they are gone, either too far, or there is absolutely no possibility of meeting them again, or hearing their voice again or just look at them in a gathering.
I recently lost someone who used to be; (PS the operating word being “used”) very close to our family. The thing is that I never knew how much she meant to me until that dreadful phone call. I kid you not I went into a total panic mode and all the jazz it comes with including, being in denial to angry, but ultimately when I came back to my sense, something, even more, worse happened.
I couldn’t remember the last thing said to her, I couldn’t remember our last conversation with her, I couldn’t and that bugged me, even more, who am I kidding it still bugs me. That is when it hit me that I don’t remember the last words I spoke to so many people in my freaking life, and why don’t I remember those people. Since then, all I can remember is the beautiful memories I have of her and with her to cherish and how unknowingly that woman was a part of what I am today, right now at this moment.
Sob story eh! Well, the gist being I just want to remind you guys that how important or let’s say make sure that you tell your people who much you appreciate them love them, miss them when they are not around, and thank them for being there with you when you didn’t even realize you wanted them. Because there is absolutely no point in saying it when they are not around you anymore for whatever reason it is.
I am not telling you this because it is the end of the world or for preaching you for not doing it. I am telling you because I am still going through that process and trust me when I say that it is ugly, it is messy, and oh boy! It messes your head way more than I can use words to try and describe it, which is not what you want right now.
We may not know it, but some people need us and are hesitating to reach out to us because of that one unanswered call or message, and yes I know some of you who are reading this are saying phrases like “ look who is talking, Hi-pot said kettle,” and many more syllables that I would happily avoid writing.
So that is why I have decided to change that about me, I, for one, will never hesitate to ask for help when I need it, I may take time to say it, but I want you to be patient enough to let me do it on my own time. Sometimes people can dismiss your feelings by saying oh this happens, it is nothing compared to what I am facing, or everything will be alright, and that you are making a bigger issue out of this. No, please don’t do that! You may not know but it takes fucking courage to speak up to someone about your issues, and no they are not small for us, or something that will just go away.
I urge you guys that if you cannot listen, help or find a solution to their issues be respectful enough to tell them that or just listen to them. Sometimes all it takes is to know that there is someone. Don’t be dismissive of them, they do not deserve that. These are some tough times, and we all are dealing with so much, but can we just lean on to your people or our people because sometimes all you need is a shoulder to lean on.
Who knows we could just be someone’s Serendipity.